Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Colleen Haskell is a Flower: A Flower Who'd Better Have Some Good Bodyguards

I'm sure we all remember Colleen Haskell from the first season of CBS's Survivor program. But how many of us are stalking her? More than you'd think.

Just for fun this morning I decided to do a little web work and find out just what's become of America's summer camp girlfriend from Summer 2000. It turns out that she's not up to a whole lot, but, while searching, I did find a couple of funny/creepy/cause-for-alarm-on-the-part-of-Haskell things that I think are worth mentioning.

The first is the following dedication from that asserts that Colleen Haskell is, well, a flower. I think Yoda registered the domain, though.

        This site is dedicated to the lovely former
        Survivor castaway, Colleen Haskell. She is
        a beautiful woman, yes. But she is much
        more than just that; she has the most joyful,
        genuine, charming personality that I have
        ever seen anyone have. She is simply
        entrancing to watch. Her glowing smile is
        brighter than the clearest diamond. Just the
        sound of her voice can make me smile.
        Colleen is as elegant and graceful as...
        a flower.

Notice the effective use of ellipses there. "Colleen's a what? She's a what? Tell me!!" Now I'm not saying that Colleen ain't easy on the eyes, but this guy is very, very--and very hilariously--sad.

And then there's this, from this nameless fan site:

This floor plan is from Colleen Haskell's high school. I repeat: Colleen Haskell should be moved immediately to a safe place.

Two Other Quick Things:

1. This article asserts that male scientists and criminals both do their best work before their mid-30s and that it's probably to attract women. Satoshi Kanazawa, of the University of Canterbury in New Zealand, says: "They do whatever they do in order to get laid."

The unanswered question: Does it work?

2. Sorry these posts have been kind of short and disjointed and inconsistent. I started a new assignment this week and so I've been writing and posting from a computer lab in a high school in Detroit Public Schools, while trying, at the same time, to ignore the students. I'm sorry: " ignore my students."

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