Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Aw, Man! Already $400 With 5 Days Still To Go; I'm Never Going To Own One Of These Logs!

I might as well just give up now. There's no way that I'm going to win any of the e-bay autions for Survivor: Amazon memorabilia. All of the proceed go through the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, so you'd normally assume that this type of activity would be beyond reproach. But as my 8th grade Algebra teacher used to say and partially write on the board (to help make the meaning clear): "When you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME."

    Mr. Macarbry, may you rest in peace, and if you're still alive, may your old collapsing body and surely frightful appearance and hellish odor not be too displeasing to those around you as they attempt to quietly kill you.

And you have made an ass out of yourself if you assumed that this Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation was up to nothing but good. I did a little bit of digging and I found out that this elusive "Elizabeth Glaser" person not only exists, but is also not even a child!

If my sources are accurate, at least one of these three women is Elizabeth Glaser. Do any of these women look like children to you? Do you think any of these women suffers from Pediatric AIDS? Is there even such a thing as Pediatric AIDS? The answers to these questions all resoundingly support whatever unstructured attack against the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation I may be launching.

What makes this all worse is that Survivor: Amazon is not Elizabeth Glaser's only victim. The cast of Friends have all designed chairs which were subsequently made by La-Z-Boy and are now being auctioned off (only three of each design) to raise money for these Elizabeth Glasers. Below are the Friends' chairs, followed by some less impressive chairs that are, as far as I can tell, still available.

No comments:

Post a Comment